So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
