when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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