plz talk dirty to me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
