Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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