to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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