what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
