I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
