Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
