wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
