Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
