Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
