he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize