Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just want nice things and good sex
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
