yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
