Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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