Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
