Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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