We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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