After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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