so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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