he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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