And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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