Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
