hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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