Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
