This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
