i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
