dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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