just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
