u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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