Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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