Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ttyl tear gas
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
