Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize