Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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