So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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