My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
NoShamevember. You game?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
