I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
