i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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