if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
