I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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