So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
