Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
