why didn't you poke me back
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
