How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
