I accidentally had phone sex last night
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
