The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Can i not drive my cunt home
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
