I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
