So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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