She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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