I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
