alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize