is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
