Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
