never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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