You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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