I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
