There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize