would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
