i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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